- student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
- uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
- scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
- us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker. you have six months after graduating to start paying loans so you better pray to fucking god and jesus that you have a well-paying job by then or be prepared to be fucked up the ass without lube.
there are some days where i forget to eat the entire day, and then there are other days where i have first breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, third breakfast, tea, dinner, soupsies, supper, night lunch, midnight snack and one-in-the-morning snack
And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.